This is something I’ve wanted to get off my chest for a while now. I don’t like Led Zeppelin. I never have. This shouldn’t be noteworthy. There are tons of bands I don’t like. But, for some reason, everyone assumes I do like Led Zeppelin. People who find out that I love music as much as I do are regularly starting conversations about Led Zeppelin with me. I’m polite, but I always wish we could be talking about something else. So, I thought maybe I should get out in front and publicly state my feelings and maybe people will stop talking to me about them.
I should start by saying that I am aware that all four members of the band are technically proficient. That’s not saying much, though. Virtually all records that get released on real labels are technically proficient. While they are technically proficient, I don’t enjoy the way they play. Robert Plant’s voice is whiney and annoying. I don’t like John Bonham’s and Jimmy Page’s feel. John Paul Jones is fine, I guess.
What it mostly comes down to is that Led Zeppelin is the whitest band I’ve ever heard. They have no funk and they have no soul. It makes what they do dull. The last thing I want out of music is boring, but they bore me.
Then there are all the non-musical reasons I don’t like them. The biggest of which is that they stole almost their entire repertoire. And I don’t mean that they covered a bunch of songs. I like cover songs. I mean that they claim to have written all these songs that were clearly written by other people. Other British acts, like the Beatles, Stones and Clapton, did a ton of covers, but they always credited the originals. They wouldn’t shut up about how much they loved Robert Johnson, Muddy Waters and Motown. Zeppelin acts like they invented music and nothing that came before impacted them in any way. Then, when they do these covers that are not acknowledged as covers, they are invariably worse than the originals.
Anyway, I just wanted to get that out there. I’d be happy to talk about music with anyone. Just please, can we talk about anyone other than Zeppelin? I’d really appreciate it.