Something New and Horrifying

As I’ve said before, there’s a lot that has happened to me during my divorce that I wasn’t expecting.  The latest happened to me in the grocery store a few days ago.  I got in line to buy my stuff.  When I got up to the cashier, I became acutely aware that she was very pretty.  I don’t mean I noticed.  I mean sweaty palms, dry mouth, butterflies, afraid of saying something stupid kind of noticed.  It was like I was fourteen years old and afraid of girls, especially the pretty ones.  I have to say, I’m completely baffled by this one.

I was just buying some groceries, apples and bread and such.  It doesn’t make any sense.  It’s not like I wanted to ask her out.  I’m nowhere near there.  The idea of a date right now is a lot closer to repugnant than it is to pleasant.  I have no idea where it came from.  I’ve always been quiet, but never shy.  And I’ve never found it difficult talking to people, even the pretty ones.  I just hope it was an isolated incident.  Adolescence sucks.  If I’m going to regress, that’s the last place I want to end up.

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