Christmas Is Coming

Christmas is fast approaching and I haven’t done anything yet except listen to holiday music. I haven’t decorated. I haven’t put up the tree. I haven’t eaten any cookies or candy canes. I certainly haven’t shopped. I haven’t even been posting about Christmas yet. It’s kind of a bummer. A couple of weeks ago, I was talking to my therapist and saying that I wanted to do a better job at Christmas this year.

This year is the first time in six years that I’ve been employed full time and not suicidal at Christmastime. I figured I’d really do it up. But that hasn’t happened yet.

I’m not sure what’s holding me back. My kid has asked several times about the tree, but I keep saying, “next week.” My partner has been asking me what I want for Christmas since July. There’s been plenty of prompting. Just no action.

I think part of it is the short window between Thanksgiving and Christmas this year. I always try to get the most out of Thanksgiving season, and it’s just taken me a little while to shift gears. And I think part of it is the new job. I don’t have the time that I used to. Throw in a vitamin D deficiency, and it’s a perfect recipe to not be ready.

I’m committing to do better starting now. I will have my tree up next time my kid is home. I will decorate. I will eat cookies and candy canes. And I will start posting some things about the holidays. I can’t promise I’ll shop before Christmas Eve, but that’s my tradition anyway.

Wish me luck.