Nutmegger Daily

I have the strongest urge to start this last piece about my mental health journey through an intensive outpatient program (IOP) with an apology. I can’t tell if it’s an acceptable urge or if I should use opposite action to resist it. The thing is, I don’t feel like I’ve done a very good job…

Well, I finished my intensive outpatient program (IOP) today. It’s a day earlier than I expected, but I’ll talk about that later. For now, I was customarily early, but the fourth to arrive. These new group members are something else. It was a big group today, so check-ins took all of the first hour and…

This is the start to my last week of IOP. I’m all kinds of conflicted about it. Over the past two-ish months, group has become kind of homey. At the same time, I think it’s time. I have to get back out in the real world sometime. I just wish the real world weren’t so…

I overslept this morning. Well, that’s not quite right. Technically I woke up when I was supposed to. I just kept hitting snooze and hitting snooze some more. I was only about five minutes early to the IOP. I was also third to arrive. It was one of those mornings. The pacing was a little…

I was third at the IOP this morning. These new group members are early birds. I guess I’m going to have to get used to it. I can’t reasonably get there more than fifteen minutes early every day. Plus, the normal clinician was out today, so I started the day a little out of sorts….

Today was a weird day at IOP. To start with, I was the fourth one there. Fourth! I never use exclamation points, but fourth? Come on. What’s wrong with me? Fourth! Check-in was fairly normal. I talked about my weekend. It was a nice weekend. Spent it with my partner. We went to a sugar…

I wasn’t the first person to arrive at the IOP this morning. I was second. It threw me off. Second. I didn’t win. I got there about the same time I always do. It’s just that someone else was earlier. So disconcerting. My check-in was fine. I was very tired again, which is kind of…

I got some good news at my IOP this morning. I’m stepping down to three days a week. I thought I’ve been making progress, and this is confirmation that the IOP thinks so, too. Yay me. I woke up with a nervous feeling this morning. It was like butterflies in my stomach. I brought that…

Week six of my IOP is off to a pretty good start. I was a little nervous because stupid daylight savings time started this weekend. I hate daylight savings time. It messes me up for about a full week. But I was feeling OK today. For my check-in, I talked about my weekend. It was…

Week five of my IOP is in the books. The name doesn’t lie. It’s an outpatient program that’s intense. I’m exhausted. Today was a pretty normal session, but we had a big group. Check-ins took the whole first hour and about half of the second hour. When it came to my turn, I talked about…