Elf on the Shelf

I work in a school. One of the students was telling me all about her family’s Elf on the Shelf. He’s apparently very silly. He hides in the dog’s bed, hangs from the light fixtures, and even hung out in the microwave one morning. That sounds dangerous to me, but who am I to tell an elf how to do his job? And the student seems to really enjoy the elf’s antics.

There were no shelf elves when I was a kid. I can’t quite figure out where they came from and how they fit into Christmas. What happened since my childhood that would make Santa need the help? Can he still see when we’re sleeping? Does he still know if we’ve been bad or good? If so, the elves are superfluous. If not, what happened? With the technological advances of recent decades, the elves seem even less necessary. Our phones are already tracking everything we do. Can’t Santa have access to that data?

I should probably know better than to question Santa. I’m sure he has his reasons. Maybe he’s doing his part to fix the unemployment problem. Maybe it’s part of the training for jobs in the workshop. Maybe the elves just have a lot of fun doing it. I like that one best. The elves are having some fun. They work hard all year. They deserve it. Santa must be the world’s best boss.