My Most Annoying Superpower

While driving with my daughter today, she said, “They should call you ‘the red light hitter.'”  She then added, “I know why green’s your favorite color, you’re always waiting for it.”  I had no response, except to laugh.  She’s absolutely right.  I hit more red lights than anyone.  It doesn’t matter where I’m going or what time I’m going there.  If there’s a traffic light, I will stop at it.  I’ve talked about my superpowers before.  I don’t know why I have these abilities.  They’re really annoying.

For as long as I’ve had my license, I’ve had this trouble with red lights.  I actually hit an amazing amount of yellow lights, too.  I swear the traffic light sees me coming and changes on purpose.  It even happens, though not as often, when I’m only a passenger.  I’m mostly used to it now.  I just build in some extra time to get where I’m going.  I only really notice it when I’m in a hurry.

I’ve always felt like there should be a way for me to use my power for good.  Maybe I could work with the police to drive the same way as criminals forcing them to stop.  But I would need to know where the criminals are going to commit crimes before hand and I’d need to know where they were heading afterwards.  Maybe I could monetize it.  I could get people to pay me to drive on the East/West cross street when they are heading North on the main drag to ensure their lights stay green.  But I’d only save them from one light per trip, so they probably wouldn’t pay me very much.  It probably wouldn’t even cover the cost of gas while I wait at the light.

I guess I just have to live with my powers and be jealous of Bizarro Gene who only gets green lights.  I just wish there were someone out there who could help me control my power.  I feel bad for all the poor people who are driving the same direction as I.

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