Photo by Tuqa Nabi on Unsplash

For most of my life, I have been unable to nap. According to my parents, even as a baby I didn’t nap. I had always heard how great naps were. People would awake from a nap feeling rested and refreshed. At least that’s what they said. I don’t know what reason they’d have to lie, but I’m beginning to get suspicious.

You see, lately, as in last summer and early fall, I was able to take naps. I suspect it was some lingering effects of my major depressive episode, but I was able to nap. And I hated it. I’d wake up feeling worse than when I’d fallen asleep. They seemed to make me more tired instead of less. I’d go into the naps full of optimism, thinking I could finally see what everyone else was talking about. When I woke, though, I was full of disappointment.

So, what am I doing wrong? I’ve never been a good sleeper in general. I imagine I lack some skill that the rest of you have. If I practice, will I get better? What are your secrets? I really want to know. Napping is supposed to be one of the simple pleasures of life. Why can’t I do it right?

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