Photo by Zane Persaud on Unsplash

I learned something yesterday. Or, at least, I was told something yesterday. I was told that it’s socially acceptable nowadays to ask for feedback after a date. I was shocked to hear this. One of the worst parts of dating is that when it fizzles after a date or two, you’re left wondering why. Did I do or say something wrong? Well, now, I’m told, I can find out. I think this will be hard for me, though. It feels a bit pushy and rude to initiate a conversation with someone who has let you know, one way or another, that they’re not interested in talking to you.

However, I did try it. I went on a first date not too long ago. It wasn’t the best first date I’ve ever been on, but it certainly wasn’t the worst either. I thought it was worth continuing to get to know each other. Only, when I texted her the next day, I never got a response. Clearly, she wasn’t interested in getting to know me any better, but I didn’t know why.

So, upon hearing that it was OK to ask, I sent her another text asking why. To my great surprise, she responded by saying that she just didn’t feel any chemistry. I’m not 100% sure what that means. I mean, I know what it means, but I don’t think I’ve ever felt real chemistry after one date. Anyway, I had an answer and that meant more closure than I was ever expecting.

The only thing is, it didn’t feel very good. I don’t know what to do with the information. The person who told me it’s OK to ask for feedback mentioned that I could get better at dating. This may sound weird, but I’m not sure I want to get better at dating. I don’t think dating should be like a job interview. It should be more organic than that. I want to go out with someone and be myself and hopefully she’ll like spending time with me. I don’t want to trick anyone into spending more time with me.

I guess it comes down to the closure was nice, but I didn’t feel good doing it. What say you? Is it worth asking the question or should I live with the uncertainty? I don’t know what to think. It’s a strange new world out there.

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