2020 is fast approaching and, while some have dropped out, there are still fifteen Democrats running for president. It’s confusing keeping track of them all. To try to help, I figured I’d present an honest, and hopefully memorable, slogan for each candidate.
Michael Bennet: Just a guy running for president
Joe Biden: Huh? What?
Michael Bloomberg: I’m richer than the other rich guy
Cory Booker: Will somebody please notice me?
Pete Buttigieg: I may be white and male, but I’m young and I’m gay
Julian Castro: I worked for Obama
John Delaney: I’ve been running forever
Tulsi Gabbard: Democrat? Are you sure?
Amy Klobuchar: Biding my time
Deval Patrick: Wait, I’m running for president?
Bernie Sanders: Hey, Democrats can be racist and sexist, too
Tom Steyer: I’m the other rich guy
Elizabeth Warren: Pay attention everyone, this is important
Marianne Williamson: I like miracles
Andrew Yang: F***ing free money, nerds!
