2020 is fast approaching and, while some have dropped out, there are still fifteen Democrats running for president. It’s confusing keeping track of them all. To try to help, I figured I’d present an honest, and hopefully memorable, slogan for each candidate.

Michael Bennet: Just a guy running for president

Joe Biden: Huh? What?

Michael Bloomberg: I’m richer than the other rich guy

Cory Booker: Will somebody please notice me?

Pete Buttigieg: I may be white and male, but I’m young and I’m gay

Julian Castro: I worked for Obama

John Delaney: I’ve been running forever

Tulsi Gabbard: Democrat? Are you sure?

Amy Klobuchar: Biding my time

Deval Patrick: Wait, I’m running for president?

Bernie Sanders: Hey, Democrats can be racist and sexist, too

Tom Steyer: I’m the other rich guy

Elizabeth Warren: Pay attention everyone, this is important

Marianne Williamson: I like miracles

Andrew Yang: F***ing free money, nerds!

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