I got divorced this afternoon. It was weird. We went to the court house, signed some forms, waited for a while, then went before the judge. We sat there while the judge read our agreement. After that, we stood and swore to tell the truth. Next, my Ex’s (that sounds weird) lawyer asked her a bunch of questions along the lines of, “Do you freely agree to everything we’ve spent the last six months working out?” She said yes. Then, my lawyer asked me the same questions and I said yes. The judge asked my Ex for the date of our wedding and our kid’s name. Finally, the judge complimented us for “doing it right,” court was adjourned and that was it. He didn’t even bang his gavel (I don’t even know if he had a gavel). There was no, “I now pronounce you. . .” I actually asked my lawyer, “Is that it?” Like I said, it was weird.
To say it was anticlimactic would be a huge understatement. And I honestly don’t know how I feel right now. The best description I can give is empty. The divorce has been emotionally tricky. The process is completely miserable. But I haven’t felt empty before now. I can’t tell how much of it is the divorce and how much is the complete lack of ceremony to accompany a life changing event.
Maybe “complete lack” is an overstatement. When I got home, I walked to Carvel and got myself an ice cream cone. Although that doesn’t really tell me much. Ice cream has too many uses. It could have been the equivalent of a celebratory glass of champagne or it could have been like a beer to drown my sorrows. Maybe it was both, but it was something. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.
So, something huge happened to me today, but I have no idea what it means or how I feel about it.